so im freaking GREAT how ppl wana me to say... and what else would that be?

well.. right now... its 10/9/11... and 6:27pm.. i havent eaten nothing yet.. or well the lil food i stole from another ppl on the refri.. and well.. no even know how the world is outside... maybe it was sunny today or not.. i donno... i just know some asshole its been calling me and not even talk to me when i spoke... and i hate it...

i havent cut myself in months but my thoughts of doing it continue up... and WHAT THE HELL WHAT U THINK... I DONT CARE NOTHING ANYMOREE!!!!!!

YESSS I CUT MYSELF FOR RELIEVING MY PAIN INSIDE MYSELF!!!! I WANNA KILL MYSELF EITHER CUZ I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH!!! AND CUZ IM ALL THE TIME LIKE THIS... FORSAKEN, FORGOTTEN, UNWANTED, UNWORTHY, UNHAPPY, CANT GET IT OVER, CANT FORGET IT, ALONE... LONESOME... MISSUNDERSTAND

WHY TO BE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME?????? WELLL I SHOULD DO STH.. BESIDES WRITTING ALL THE TIME.. AND FOR WHOM IM WRITTING FOR????? I DONT EVEN KNOW.. MAYBE FOR ANOTEHR CB TO READ IT AND HELP ME, BUT HE WAS HE AND NOONE CAN TAKE HIS PLACE...

AND IM NOT CRYING ANYMORE.. NOT LIKE YESTERDAY AT NIGHT I COUDNT HOLD MY BREATH AND I HAD TO CRY IT OUT...

I FELT BAD, I FELT ALONE AND LIKE NOTHING ITS REALLY WORTHY AT ALL... ALL I DO ITS NEVER ENOUGH SO I GOTTA FACE MY DEMONS ONCE AGAIN ALONE....

MY SILLY DEMONS THAT TORTURE ME SO MUCH AND CANT GET THEM OUT OF ME... I WANNA GET RID OF THEM AND SET ME FREE!!!! BE FREE FOR ONCE!!!!

LIKE YESTERDAY I WAS THINKING IN GOING TO THE WOODS AND RUN SO MUCH, ENDLESS AND SCREAM EVERYTHING OUT AND KEEP RUNNING AND THEN I WANNA FEEL BETTER... IS REALLY THAT GONNA HELP AT ALL???? I DONNO...

I DONNO WHAT REALLY IS GONNA HELP ME AT ALL!!!! NOTHING FOR REAL HELPS ME... NOT EVEN PAINTING... NOT EVEN TALKING TO PPL.. CUZ ALL THOSE THINGS ARE FOR MOMENTS, PERIODS.. BUT AFTER THAT ALL CONTINUES THE SAME CRAPPY THING... LIKE WHEN I USED TO TALK TO CB HE WAS MY BEST MEDICINE BUT WHEN I DIDNT TALK TO HIM I FELT AS SHIT AND I WANTED TO DIE... I FELT THAT NOONE CAN UNDERSTAND ME LIKE HE USED TO...

HE IS GONEEEE!!!!! HE IS DEAD!!!!!!!!! AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OVER AFTER 3 YEARS OF ABSENCE! SO NOW ITS MT.. HE IS THE KINDA NEW CB.. BUT OF COURSE NOT... KINDA THATS WHY...

AND I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER AFTER THIS SONG CUZ I WANNA EAT STH AND I HAVE NO MONEY FOR BUYING STH THIS TIME...

WOW.. HEARING PARAMORE ITS BEEN A HUGE WHILE... I DONT EVEN LIKE SO MUCH THE BAND BUT THEY HAVE NICE SONGS, THOUGH...