another day like this and i explode!!

I donno whats going on with me… or I talk too much, or I think too much, or my actions are too much!! Everything is too much!!!! And what it really means???? I think im a wastes of time! Im bored, im nothing but nothing!!! He makes me feel unworthy, horrible, nothing but a piece of crap!!! Why I need other ppl to cheer me up when I have him, but he doesn’t do anything at all.. I hate that!!!

Sometimes I don’t wanna talk with him anymore til im back… why to know things about him if he doesn’t trust me, if he doesn’t wanna tell me nothing about him but things about the cat or that he is tired or that he gotta go…

I hate that kinda conversations!!! Im starting to hate talking to him… and I won’t do any comparisons at all, even though I wanna do it… =/

Sometimes im with my best mood when I start talking with him, but with the minutes passing through I start to get bored and annoyed cuz of him.. and sometimes I donno if it is my fault or his fault.. its supposed to be late as hell there and he gotta work early in the morning and I should understand him, but who do understand me?????? Who am i?????? I gotta understand everybody, but who can understand me?????

Im a human too!! And I feel tired too!!! And I get upset too!!! And I get hurt more easily than him!, besides im the one waiting for him the whole fucking day cuz I trust him with all my heart and I wanna tell him how was my day and how do I feel, but he… he ask me, fine… but… its like an automatic conversation… a monotony conversation but not a real conversation!!!!! Not that kinda conversation couples have.. and ok.. I don’t wanna ask too much!!! I don’t wanna hope too much and wait too much! But im a girl and I need attention, I need loves, and kind words… I need to hear I look great in that pic or that im thinking a right shit whenever I write sth on fb.. why my friends have to do that and not him??????

Ohh no, come on, hold on!!! he is the busy guy here! And he doesn’t have much time as I do! Ohh yah.. I got to understand that, being more understanding… yeah… =/ BULLSHITS!

I hate him sometimes cuz he is not helping me with my confidence and with my behavior… my mood changes every single second at day and with him change even more and more!!! Its in constantly changes and he doesn’t get it!!!! He thinks he does… but is that true????? Does he really understand me??? Then why he doesn’t do sth to make me feel better?????? Why he don’t write me kind things on my msn or on my fb..???? why he doesn’t give us a time for us??????

Maybe im a fake, im a freak and he really doesn’t love me, he thinks he does, but its not true … or maybe he is like all men in the world when get that he wants… why to do sth else if I already got u????

Bullshits again… im not a kind of girl who accept lil things and feels great!!!!!

I DO LOVE HAVING THE WHOLE ATTENTION!!!!! I DO LOVE READING NICE THINGS ON MY WALL!!!!! I DO LOVE RECEIVING NICE MESSAGES ON MY MSN….

I hate me… I hate me for being like this… I hate to need to receive in order to feel great and not feeling great by my own…

I hate to depend of ppl… I hate to love talking to him… I hate being in love and not feel being correspond… I hate my life sometimes… cuz its nothing really worthy to fulfill my emptiness inside….

And no one in this world can understand that if that person doesn’t feel the same way…

He say he does feel the same way, but in the practicing it’s on the other way around…

I gotta sleep now… and its missing tons of things yet that bothers me and upset me about him…

=/

Good night to me