im fine i guess!

i donno im 20 sth years old now... im so old!!!!! i got a new bf, im living with my parents for a while, im studying french and arts, and i have what i want, im going to a psychiatric and to a psycologist.. im having some odd medications too, i guess im fine... but i donno...

i cant not feel me fine, though... but i should.. so how can i drive my head to the happy side!??? is that all in my weird synopsis???? doctor said that medication is for that and not for doping me the whole day though.. whatever!!!

i just cant stand some ppl.. make me sick so much.. especially that ones i called friends one day... but i shouldnt care at all... its just one day... its not worthy to feel like that... i dont give a damn....

i have ppl that care about me and i should appreciate them and not care about the other ones.... but how not to care about them, damned????!!!!!!! those ppl especially talk to much about friendship and whenever is their time to show it, they dont do it!!!! what fun, huh!

amazing!!!!! thats why i do prefect to be behind the trees... its much more fun watching them behaving and analyzing them.... watching their movements.... and being aware they are not even closed to realize there's someone there....

well... im just feeling disappointed again, kinda sad too and upset... but its just temporary...

i got a french test tomorrow!... i did study but i donno.. i guess i should give it another quick sight though... im so insecureeee!!!

i gotta climb a montain again... this time a huggeeee one full of stucks and rocks and things like that lol... scared me a lil bit, but i gotta do it!!! i must do it!!!!!! decisions, fucking decisions!!!!!! matureee decisionss!!!!! my future depend of them... fuck that!... i wish i could go back and change some things... im fucking done if i dont pass... and how to put on my father's mind that its my business and he should leave me alone with my decisions.. at the end its my life... if i wanna screw it up, then it will be so screw up... and there's nothing they can do

damned i fuckin hate being bother by my parents!!!!! not medicines or nothing at all can calm me down when im so pissed off cuz of them!!!!!

okay.... they wanna watch a fuckin movie with me.. its kinda a comedy one, though.. so i gotta stop writing and get my ass to the other room or im gonna have more problems than all the ones i already have!