everybody hides a secret, but who i find it and accepted it and can live and deal with it are fewers..

so guys hates dramas eh... so why do they stick around and stay watchin how someone dies inside without doing nothing at all!!!????? why dont just simply walk away if ther dont wanna be there?????, why do they like to create that silly expectation on that girl for nothing if at the end you will leave?????? cuz as far as i know a real men really DO STH ABOUT IT!!!!!!! DONT WALK AWAY IN THE FIRST DRAMA BEHAVIOR OR WHATEVER IT IS... GODDAMN... BE A MAN DUDE... IF U LOVE FOR REAL A GIRL AND YOU SEE SHE AINT DOING FINE, HELP HER TO FIND OUT WHATS GOING ON.. CUZ... HONESTLY.. ANY GIRL IN THIS WORLD LIKES OR WANNA BE LIKE THAT... WE DONT CHOOSE THIS... WE DONT WANT THIS....

SO JUST TAKE A LOOK INSIDE YOUR HEART AND FIND OUT IF THAT PERSON REALLY DESERVE IT OR ITS A LOST CASE LIKE ME...

SO NOW GOING BACK ON ME, WHY DO I SCREW UP MY LIFE ALL THE TIMEEE!!!!! I HATE THAT!!!!! I HAD IT ALL!!! I STILL HAVE IT... BUT.... I DONT FEEL CONFORTABLE AT ALL WITH WHAT I HAVE... IT STH MISSING ALL THE TIMEE!!! THAT MAKES ME SCREW WHAT I HAVE...

I MISS HAVING MY FRIENDS... SOMEBODY TO HANG OUT FOR REAL... HAVE FUN AND ENJOY WITH ANY LAUGH... BUT I USED TO HAVE THAT WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL ... NOT ALL THE TIME BUT A LIL BIT AT LAST SOMETIMES... I STILL REMEMBER THE LAST PARTY I WHEN.. IN DANIELA'S HOUSE... AT "LA PUNTA"... I WAS HOPING TO SEE HIM AGAIN.. BUT I GUESS HE WAS SO DAMN CLEAR THAT DAY TOO... HE WASNT GONNA SHOW UP CUZ HE WAS SO DAMN IN LOVE IN HER EX GF AND HE WAS JUST HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH ME.. AND THEN HE MADE A CHOICE TOO. I DONT BLAME HIM... WE WERE KIDS... OR... KINDA TEENERGER TURNING TO ADOLESCENTS.. OR GROWING UP IN FEW WORDS...

IT WAS FINE... I WAS SO DAMN SAD AND UPSET INSIDE BUT TRYING TO MOVE ON IN CERTAIN POINT... MY FRIEND WAS THERE... SUPPORTING ME!!!! GEEE... I WASNT ALONE AT ALL THAT DAY, SO I WAS GOOD IN THAT "POINT"

BUT YEARS AFTER... LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW... IM ON MY OWN NOW... AND HAVE TO FIGURE OUT THE THINGS ALONEE... OHH YAH... ACTUALLY ITS KINDA FUN.. CUZ SINCE I DONT TALK TO ANYBODY AND HAVE NOT FRIENDS FOR REAL SINCE SCHOOL I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HARM ME IN ALL SENSE ALL THE TIME... IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE PHYSICALLY ALL THE TIME.. BUT YAH... EMOTIONALLY... MENTALLY... AND YAH PHYSICALLY AFTERWARDS... SO FUCK THAT! FUCK THE WORLD... FUCK THE PPL AROUND!!!! I DONT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE....

SO AFTER THAT FABULOUS 6 MONTH THAT I HAD LAST YEAR... IT LOOKED LIKE I WAS LIVING IN A SORTA PARADISE FOR FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE... I WAS GETTING ALONG WELL WITH MY ROOMMATES FIRST OF ALL AND THEN, I WAS HAVING THAT AMAZING JOB AT SCHOOL "O ESTAGIO"... MY RESERCHES AND CONGRESSES AND AWWW... IN SCHOOL.. WELL.... I WAS TALKING MORE WITH PEOPLE IN MY CLASS FOR FIRST TIME TOO... LOL.... AND THAT ESPECIAL THING I NEVER THOUGHT TO HAVE... BUT.. WELL.. I TOOK THE CHANCE AT LEAST... I HAD A BF... AWW... BUT ANYWAYS...
MY GRADES, SOME OF THEM WERE FINE BUT THE OTHERS NAH... I DIDNT LIKE THE SUBJECTS AND I DIDNT STUDY EITHER... IM NOT A GD STUDENT AFTER ALL... I PREFECT TO READ OTHER THINGS.. OR DO OTHER THINGS RATHER THAN MY SUBJECTS... BUT... WHEN THERE IS A SUBJECT THAT I LIKE... OHH GOD... I ROCK IN THAT ONE! LOL

THAT TIMES, THOSE SPECIALLY SIX MONTH ARE OVER NOW ARE PAST AND ARE GETTING OVER AT LAST!... SO ITS TIME TO GO BACK TO MY REALITY.... THAT REBEL GIRL THAT HATES PPL AND HATES MEN... YAH.. THATS ME.. AND THAT GIRL THAT DOESNT GIVE OPORTUNITY TO ANYBODY YAH... AND DOESNT BELIEVE IN THAT "LOVE" AND YAH.. NEVER EVER SAY IT FOR SURE

THAT GIRL THAT LIKES AND LOVES TO BE IN HER WORLD AND DO NOT GET OUT IF SHE IS NOT READY AND CONFORTABLE TO FACE THE "WORLD"... THE ONE WHO LOVES TO BE ALONE... NOT FRIENDS NOT LOVERS.. NOT NOTHING BUT MY "SADNESS WORLD AND UNRESOLVED REALITY"... YAH.. SO DAMN PATHETIC ISNT IT... SO GO THE FUCK AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE LOSER!!!!!

MAYBE AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS... KINDA I DONNO, I LOSE THE COUNT IM STILL BEING THE SAME PATETHIC AND IDIOT I AM...

YAH... I WROTE IT ON MY ARM ONCES... AND I STILL HAVE IT ... I CAN SEE IT AND I CAN READ ALL THE TIME... AND I DONT FEEL SORROW FOR IT... NOT AT ALL!

WILL I CHANGE ONE DAY???? DONT EVEN HAVE A CLUE... ACTUALLY I THINK FOR REAL, THIS TIME IM DONE... I MEAN I JUST WANNA END THIS "JOB" AND THEN IM ALL DONE ... I WANNA STAY AWAY FOR THIS SHAMEFULL AND HYPOCRITICAL WORLD.... LIKE IN MY DREAM...

"LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS IN A CHARMING AND SWEETY WOOD HOUSE IN FRONT OF A LAKE SURRONDED BY ALL KINDA ANIMALS AND ALL ALONE" SO NOT PAIN NOT SORROW, NOT NOTHING!

THIS TIME NO ONE WILL SAVE ME... NAH ... I WONT LET IT HAPPEN.. BUT THIS TIME, FOR FIRST TIME I WILL SHOW UP AND EXPRESS MYSELF BEFORE I PASS OUT... I WANNA THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS ME AND GET TO KNOW WHAT I CAN DO AND WHAT IM WILLING TO DO... MAYBE IM A LOSER AS A PERSON... BUT NOT AS A HUMAN BEING... I WANNA DO STH.. AND I WILL....

I WILL START MY FIGHT DEFENDING MY POINT OF VIEW ABOUT THE WORLD, THE ANIMALS, THE ENVIRONMENT, THE PEOPLE... AND WHY IM HERE...

I WANNA BE THAT REBEL "CHE" FOR THE ANIMALS... CBF TOLD ME THAT DAY THAT SOCIALISM WITH PPL AND ENVIRONMENT ARE TOGETHER.. BUT I DONT THINK SO.. I DONNO... THOSE PPL JUST WANT RESPECT FOR EACH OTHERS .... BEING ACCEPT IN THEIR COMMUNITY... DONT WANNA CHANGE THEIR LIVING RURAL LIFE WAY... WELL.. LIKE ME, THOUGH.. IS THEIR LIFE ISNT IT? AND WE DO HAVE TO RESPECT IT... BUT THAT "CHOOSE" DOESNT MEAN ONE PERSON AS IN MY CASE.. IT MEANS A NATION... A COUNTRY...

IM A LOSE CASE, BUT THATS ME... IVE CHOSEN THAT... I WANT THAT AND MY WORLD OR DECISION DOESNT AFFECT ANYONE BUT ME

BUT THE DECISION OF THOSE PPL AFFECT A COUNTRY AND THE WORLD... SO... I DONNO ... I WISH I COULD HAVE MORE ANSWERS... MORE IDEAS OF A BETTER WORLD.... TO HAVE AND FIND THAT BALANCE...

SO IM GONNA DO STH TODAY... STARTING FOR ME... BEING BETTER I DONNO... NOT BEING BETTER TO SUIT IN THE "COMMUNITY"BUT FOR ME... I DONT CARE WHAT PPL THINKS...

FUCK THEM.... SCREW THEM....

SO LETS THE GAME STARTED...

BUT JUST I GOTTA BE CAREFUL WITH MY MOVEMENTS...

DAMN I JUST WRITE CRAP.... LOL