S.A.U.D.A.D.E.S

I dont like what he is living cuz of me... he is bad, upset and confused and he shouldnt feel that way... but i wont blame myself for that anymore...

i donno why all this happened... was it mean to be like this??? was it all my fault???

what we do know is that its done and theres nothing we can do to stop this storm...

i miss him so much, i wish i could go back in time and didnt travel there yet, i knew i can do it later, but i didnt take that option! i was desperated for some reason i donno yet.. why? everything was great at that moment! why to run again??? i dont get it...

i wish he could be here, helping me and i give him love, as before... but it wont happen, cuz even if the light switchs on things wont be the same as before.... a lot of things changed it.

i wanna kiss him, hug him with all my force for not letting him go again... im afraid of my feeling cuz they're confusing me as well... i ought not to get this on mind, i got so many shits now so why more!

the truth is that i can not understand me... i dont get it... just miss him so much... so hard... so bad....

knowing he is not doing fine makes me wanna hold him and give him support with simple love... the love i didnt show him when i got my chance ... that kill me inside, one more time regretting for my losts and for things i should have done and i didnt for being me... i wanna stop being me then and be sth else... but nah... i need to be me just be better... get better... so i dont screw it up again...